Naughty Mr. Turkey

Dear Family & Friends,

Okay, I went to the fridge this morning to get Mr. Turkey out to put him into the brining solution (where he's suppose to sit for 24 hours)...and he's frozen solid STILL! Argh! Ugh! Cuss Words! What do I do now???? (Mama, Call me AS SOON AS YOU GET UP!!!!!) Emergency panic going on over here.

And please don't state the obvious that perhaps I shouldn't have bought a 23 pound turkey and only allowed 2 days in the fridge to defrost.....I need constructive ideas here people!

Please let me know what to do.... I'll be waiting.

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These are my options:

Take a bath with Mr. Turkey


Make a Tofu Turkey.

Go kill one of the Guinea birds in Cathi's front yard (it looks close enough to a turkey).

Get turkey lunch meat and make a nice cold cuts platter.

Move.

Cry. (oh, wait, I've already done that)

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Did you know that there is a Turkey Hotline. Just for women like me. 1-800-288-8372The lady didn't even laugh. And because I had to wait on hold for 15 minutes tells me that I'm not the only dunderhead in the country that messed up. Though my husband just patted my head as he left for work, and told me I was special (and not in a good way!).

So for the rest of my day I will be giving Tommy a cold water bath in the kitchen sink. Oh the joy!

I'm so thankful.