Unfortunately, There's No Going Back

October 1998, me and my boys


My dad just sent me this photo of the boys. It's one of my favorites. Please don't judge me in my side ponytail (which is actually a hair clip gone wild) and my overalls... we were on a hayride at a pumpkin patch. What you do need to notice is my cute boys. The mostest cutest. And yes, that's my natural hair color. Which is your favorite photo?

June 2007, me and my boys

10 MORE Random Things About Me

Okay, so I've been tagged by Lori, Crayola Lady, and Ginny. And I realize that I've already told you 10 random things about me, but, just in case you were bored today, or thought that you were the only goober in the world, here's my list. Join me and we'll be goobers together.

1.) I don't like working. In fact I only took classes in college that would allow me to do what I wanted to do for a job that really boiled down to playing with little kids all day. I was a pre-school teacher. Couldn't wait to get married and have kids, Sweetie and I always said I would be a stay at home mom. Couldn't wait to pop out those kids so I could stop working. Yeah, reality set in FAST!

2.) My dream car is a minivan. I mean, you can load up on those kids and all their gear. Everyone of them can have two drinks that are safely kept in cup holders. I secretly want flames painted on the sides with a license plate that says 'hot mama'.

3.) I still think of myself as 19 years old. I always thought that when you turn thirty you had to have it all together and know everything. I have now pushed that age to 40. In fact this last November I turned 36 and didn't handle it very well. I only have 4 more years to get my act together. It's not looking too good.

4.) Instead of a college fund, Sweetie and I have set up a Counseling Fund, because we KNOW we're messing up our kids! We're taking donations.

5.) I'm not too good at friendships, I pretty much walk around thinking people don't like me. (okay, so maybe I need to tap into the counseling fund)

6.) Sweetie and I actually got bored on our honeymoon, wanted to call our friends to come join us and ended up going home early.

7.) Secretly wish I could sing REALLY GREAT on stage and give everyone goose bumps.

8.) I'm not a good driver. Seriously, I'm thinking that people should form an intervention and take my license away. I once got into an accident in the Jack-in-th-Box drive thru, on my lunch break during traffic school, for a speeding ticket I got. Most friends of mine, want to take my car when we go somewhere together, but they want the keys so they can drive. Sara will say that I nearly killed her, don't believe her, we weren't that close to the tree.

9.) I'm crazy about organizing. Just when I think I've got one room/closet organized I decide I can do it better and re-do it. A few years ago I found Sweetie's label maker for work.....I'm in love. Did you know labels stick to almost any surface? Except maybe the dog. I've got 'toilet paper' labeled on a shelf in the utility room and rolls of toilet paper stacked on the shelf. Jay was amazed, he didn't know where the t.p. was until I put a label under it. I'm just here to help.

10.) I really love the color pink. And flowers. If it were up to me our house would be one giant pink flowery puff. But living with three guys, I kinda got out numbered. It's really the only reason I want a daughter, so that I can have some pink flowery stuff in the house. She'd have bows. Big bows. Lots of dresses. Lots of flowers. Lots of pink.

Now, if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged, list 10 random things about yourself.


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my peonies are blooming up a storm this year. coming home from our walk yesterday you could smell the aroma coming up the driveway to greet us. the best part of cutting and smelling these was the ant that went up my nose. nice.

Finding a Church Home

We moved here 21 months ago. We went to a church that our friends were a part of, but kinda knew it was not going to be 'for us' in the long haul. We finally decided to leave that little church and find our 'home'. When we walked into this one church a few weeks back, it was like coming home.

Let me do some background for you. I grew up in the church, been attending the same one since I was eight. (SO that was like 20 years ago, those that know me, no leaving my real age in the comments, you little stinkers). Anyway, being a part of the same church for most of your life is precious, but it comes with some struggles. Like never really knowing what it feels like to be a visitor. Or taking for granted all the people that are there, that love you, that have known you from the beginning, that you could call on at any time of day or night. I took all that for granted and never really appreciated it for the true gift that it was. So, in visiting churches and trying to find one that fits us, we felt so very alone and isolated.

Before we even moved, Jay and I felt like God was doing a work in us and preparing us for having our apron strings cut. Moving to a place 3000 miles away from all our family & friends was hard but God cradled us with having us move just down the street from some life-long good friends and going to their small church where we made some more good friends. I don't even know how we would have done it without this gift. But then leaving that church and realizing that it was time to find our own church and get plugged in, turned into a transition time that probably most people go through during the first couple of months of moving to a new area. It's a sad and lonely place. But we held firm to the fact that God had a plan and it will be far better than anything else we could force into our lives. His plan still unfolds, we still don't know what the future holds, but He has given us some nuggets of gold in the past couple of weeks and we are very thankful.

It started with us trying a different Sunday School class one Sunday. My hairdresser advised us to try her class. (Yes, my hairdresser that I have recently found, ended up she goes to this church we were trying out) We went to her class, we loved it. Then the teaching class splits into small groups. I was praying during the teaching that God would really show us which small group to go to. At the end of teaching and before we could think, there was my hairdresser, K, inviting us to her's. I acutally prayed...'sorry, God, we'll go to hers this week, and next week, we'll go to the one YOU want us to go to.' (too funny) But the small group was great, everyone was nice and welcomed me (Jay had an allergy attack and needed to go home). It felt most like our small group back home in CA. Fast forward to the end of the week when they had a ladies night out at the church. I went with a friend, Th. We walked in and didn't know where to sit as all the tables were labled with name tags. I asked the lady at the door that greeted us and she took us right over to her table. Turns out that was the table for the small group that I had visited. This was the lady that hadn't been there Sunday. This was the lady that I'd been praying for because my hairdresser had told me about their adoption story. Th and I had such a great night getting to know these ladies and even better, they understood my sense of humor and when I laughed too loud at all the wrong times, they thought it was great. :o) Then after the program we were just sitting and mingling when a lady came up to Th to say hi and low and behold I knew this lady, she's from my home town and had been Calvin's pre-school teacher! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! Too funny!

The next Sunday we had an Sunday School class to go to, had a small group that welcomed us and remembered our names, even stayed for the new member's class. We're starting to feel that feeling of just 'being home'. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? It's a feeling that we'd been craving for some time now and it's happening. The boys already love the church, the boys already have friends, the boys already beg to go to their classes on Sunday and the Wednesday night program. But Jay and I were needing to catch up with them. Jay and the boys went to the men's golfing retreat and made some friends. When we walk into the church foyer, the administrative pastor greets us by name. It's feeling like home. I cried through most of the service on Sunday and I'm so thankful for this precious nugget from God.


there is a small old fashioned church at the corner of our road, every week they change their sign, this was last week's, just loved it. Now they've changed it to advertise the 'pig-pickin' they're having this weekend. 'pig-pickin'...it's a southern thing.